I’m not an expert, but I think of men as being “Hunters” and women as being “Gatherers” – as in a “Hunter / Gatherer Society”. Think of the cave-man times! Men went out to kill animals, to provide the meat for the clan. This was seen as a status symbol to the men – they had to be strong, agile, and smart to get the job done. The clan moved with the animal herds, because the meat was the most important part of the clan’s sustenance. The animal skins also provided crucial clothing, and often the housing as well (Tents, yurts, etc.) Women, on the other hand, foraged for whatever fruits, nuts, and vegetation happened to be available at the time of year and location, to supplement the meat supply. Women were dependent upon the decisions of the men, and adjusted accordingly. Of course, the women also cared for the children, and any medical needs that arose. A woman had to be creative and resourceful, in order to survive. Using the resources at hand, women crafted clothing, preserved food, tended the home fires. Yet the status always belonged to the GREAT HUNTER, and the greatest status was award to a man who produced SONS, because they would grow to be great hunters one day. If a man did not have sons, or only had daughters, then the “fault” must have laid with the woman!
So here we are, in the 21st century, and our technology has evolved faster than our psyche. Men still have this vision of being the provider, the maker of sons, the hunter. Of course, we can rationalize that women are EQUAL to men, but deep down, I don’t think men can wrap their heads around that. A man who cannot do what a man is expected to do, does not see himself as worthy. He sees himself as a failure. He may try, he may fight. But eventually, he gives up.
As a woman, I understand this. I adjust. I tell my husband I love him, and I mean it. I think my love will be enough. I do NOT let it affect my esteem – because SELF esteem comes from the self. I am nice. I am kind and understanding. I am beautiful. I am talented, funny, and intelligent. I am sexy, I smell nice, I have soft skin. Any man should want me, yet my man does not. So I adjust.
Because he has given up.