Sorry I’ve been MIA for so long but I guess I’m having such a pity party, that I hate to even bring it to this site.
Things in my household have not changed at all, I’m sad to say. Just a whole lot more of the same old promises. I swear that if I hear another lie with the words “I will” in it, I’m going to scream loud enough for some of you to hear me over there in Australia. Hubby is about as sweet as he can be, doing everything he can to compensate, and calling me all the time like we’re a new couple. Not what I need at all.
A couple of months ago, he was told that his glucose levels were high enough that he should start medication for it. He is now taking metformin twice a day. This is something he was trying to control by diet and exercise. So now in addition to taking three medications for his blood pressure, and two different eye drops for his glaucoma, we have to add medication for diabetes. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and want him to do whatever he has to do to be alright. He is my best friend and a great provider, but damn! What next? I throw my hands up in defeat.
Previously, you may remember that I had a bitchy little fit and moved completely out of our bedroom and into another room. I had that room completely redone to suit only my taste. I have even lost weight due to some recent flares with my RA. Let me tell you, he could care less that I’m in the other room and never makes any attempts to come visit me. He hasn’t noticed the weight loss because he doesn’t even look at me anymore. At least, not like that.
It’s a lot quieter at my house now. No more ranting and screaming about what have you done for me lately. I have become this depressed and bitter old woman. I say old because that’s how this whole damn situation makes me feel. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you don’t look good to anyone else either. As if in sync with my disappointing sex life, it seems that I don’t get the attention from other men that I use to get. Can’t tell if it’s in my mind or the way I’m carrying myself. But whatever. I’ve let it go. I don’t bring up the subject at all anymore and I don’t make any attempts to be affectionate. I’ve lost interest in going out and doing things together because it stirs up those old feelings and then we go back home with each one going to their own space. I give up. I don’t think he’s noticed that I quit trying. Then again, maybe he’s just so happy he wants to be quiet and hopes things will stay this way.
Enough of me. How are you ladies doing? Anyone with some good news or progress?